


Has Thor Forgotten Everything?

by Marta_Ayanami



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, I write too many tags I will stop now, a collection of Avengers (2012) ficlets utterly from Loki's POV, because she knows him best (Thor right after her) I base lots of Loki headcanons 'round that, because that is my headcanon since 2012, but sometimes Mind Stone's PoV, but sometimes Mind asks by way of sper realistic dreams, do remember please that Loki in all my fics has those false memories, it rather is some not-drabbles set in same verse, ok usually Loki's PoV, plus false memories by way of Mind Stone - also, remember what Frigga said in Thor: Dark World?, sometimes Mind asks verbally about concepts, sometimes not chronological but all in same 'verse, that may even be skeeve because Mind gem does not understand, warning: Mind Stone does not know much about life so it asks about it, well not my AU Lokis yeah
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-15 12:02:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17528345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marta_Ayanami/pseuds/Marta_Ayanami
Summary: "Would you punish the Earth for some imagined slights?! Is that how you want to punish me for some offence you've imagined, brother?"Loki stared at Thor, deeply hurt. Imagined slights?? Has Thor forgotten???!! Has his beloved brother forgotten that - after Loki killed Thor, true, so, there was some justice in that... - Thor killed him??? And it was only HIM who ressurrected Loki after Loki died because of Thor, unlike with Thor - mightly Thor, who was always able to resurrect himself..... HIM - Thanos... or else, Thor would have killed Loki and that would have been it for Loki, forever, he'd now be in Hel or somewhere.





	1. First Meeting After

"Would you punish the Earth for some imagined slights?! Is that how you want to punish me for some offence you've imagined, brother?"  
  
Loki stared at Thor, deeply hurt. Imagined slights?? Has Thor forgotten???!! Has his beloved brother forgotten that - after Loki killed Thor, true, so, there was some justice in that... - Thor killed him??? And it was only HIM who ressurrected Loki after Loki died because of Thor, unlike with Thor - mightly Thor, who was always able to resurrect himself..... HIM - Thanos... or else, Thor would have killed Loki and that would have been it for Loki, forever, he'd now be in Hel or somewhere.

Loki breathed. He reached into Mind Stone - Mind Stone was irritating, sure, and a baby who knew nothing of life, but still, his presence was calming sometimes.

But still, has Thor forgotten????!!

Taking another deep breath, Loki uttered, full of disbelief that he had to remind his brother (did he not care????!!) of this murder:

"I remember you, tossing me into Abyss--"

_I can't believe you've forgotten. Did you -- did you, after I killed you with Destroyer, begin to hate me **that** much?!! Not that I didn't deserve it - I did, but--- before that, I've always loved you, and been in love with you, so, doesn't the fact that you pushed me off the Bifrost warrant even a single second of guilt in you, Thor??!! _

Loki thought, but didn't say. Couldn't bring himself to say more.

_I remember You, tossing me into the Abyss..._

"...I, who was and should be King!!"

_Or, at the very least, the King's right hand. It is my birthright!!!_

He looked into Thor's eyes, searching for some guilt for brother-killing. He's found none.

Find, then, if so, he might as well murder Thor before Thor murders him again!!

 

*******

Unlike Thor, Loki remembered it well.

*****

_Thor was helping him up. Even after everything. Even after Thor had to destroy Bifrost because of Loki._

_Thor was helping him up. That was a relief._

_"Brother, why have you done this?"_

_"I... I'm not your Brother, Thor, I never was."_

_"Of course you're my brother. Don't you remember?"_

_"I... I'm not, I was adopted..."_

_"That's fine. You're still Asgardian, are you not? And we were still raised together. That makes you my beloved Brother. Always."_

_On the Bifrost now, again, Loki chuckled._

_"Brother? When I killed you a few hours ago? When I'm a monster? Thor, you're hopeless. I will probably go to prison now, anyway. Our Father isn't very forgiving."_

_Thor hummed, and then nodded, and asked._

_"Who is your birth father, anyway?"_

_Knowing now that he and Thor were still brothers, that Loki could still love him and still be in unrequited love in him, Loki relaxed, and, reluctantly, let go of Odins' glamour, revealing himself to Thor, in the worst way. That ugly skin and eyes and lines and everything. Baring himself to Thor._

_And then_

_Suddenly_

_Thor pushed him off the Bifrost--_

_That wasn't bad, really_

_since_

_Loki had half a mind to jump off himself_

_and so_

_Thor tossing him into the Abyss wasn't bad, really_

_wasn't hurtful_

_what hurt him was_

_the look in brother's eyes, saying_

_'So I thought I had a brother, but I was deceived, there was never any brother, only ever this disgusting - not even one of the people, no, just-- this disgusting ~~ **futin'**~~_

 

*********

"We can still stop it, together!"

Loki stared. Why would Thor ever want to do something together with some disgusting foundling who stole from him an illusion of having a loving brother??!!

Nothing made sense.

Nothing.

So, he stared, not even noticing tears welling up.


	2. Dreams - I Wish I Never Told the Damned Gem that Word

Truth is, Hawkeye was the dullest person Loki's ever met.

Where Selvig could be influenced to do many interesting things - after all, the Mind Stone, from Loki understood, could only search inside of somebody - it could not do something that wasn't in somebody already...

Anyway, Selvig proved to be interesting.

Hawkey, however? Oh, yes, of course, Loki controlled Hawkey - but that only amounted to changing Hawk's targets.

So boring. Was there ever another such boring Midgardian? But. Nothing could be done about that. The Sceptre could only reveal and slightly twist what was already inside of someone.

_Inside? What does 'inside' mean?_

The young - sort of, as it was freshly awoken - consciousness inside of a Gem inside of the Sceptre asked, curious, inside Loki's mind.

Loki ignored it.

_How do I find 'inside'?_

The consciousness asked, still too curious about anything and everything, pestering Loki far too often.

 _That depends inside whom, people have different insides,_ the God of Mischief finally asnwered telepatically, irritated.

_Where is your inside, Loki? What is your inside?_

_Dreams, if you know what that is. Speaking of, I'm tired, I'm going to sleep now. Stop pestering me now, Sceptre._

_Okay!!_

 

_**************_

That night, Loki had strange dreams. Strangest he's ever had.

**********

_**"I love Thor more deeply than any of you."** _

_**"If that's true, why did you kill me?" Thor, appearing suddenly, asked.** _

_**"What???"** _

_**"Okay, Loki, but if you love me, why did you kill me? Do you always kill those you love?"** _

_**"What?!"** _

_**"Will you kill Frigga next? I'm just curious. Or will you kill Odin?"** _

_**"What?! What are you saying, Thor, I??"** _

_**"Who said I'm Thor? Oh. You see me like that? Oh, sorry, Loki, that was accidental on my part. It's just me, Spectre. I found your 'dreams'. This is 'dreams', is it not??** _

_**"Get out!!! Get out, get out, get out!!!"** _

***********

"Get out!!" Loki screamed, waking up.

Hawkey looked at him, with slight curiosity. "Hm?"

Loki shook his head.

"It's nothing. It's just... why am I holding the Sceptre? I wasn't holding it when I was going to sleep, was I??"

Hawkey stared blankly, and replied, "I don't know. Ask him."

"Who?"

"Sceptre."

Loki sighed. He wasn't going to ask Sceptre about anything. In fact, that stupid ignorant Sceptre... he had half a mind to burn it right now, were it possible. And then, he accidentally dozed off again, though he was trying not to... why did he doze off....

 

___________

_"Thor?"_

_"No, no, I've told you, it's me, Sceptre. I don't know why I look like this in your - uhm, I forgot the word..."_

_"Dreams. It's my dreams. Get out. Or this won't be a dream, but a nightmare."_

_"What is a 'nightmare'?"_

_"If, for example, Thor died---- for example, if he died for the sole reason that I care about him staying alive - that would be a nightmare, but... Or, if, for example, I suddenly fell for Thor, that would be a nightmare..."_

_"Fell?"_

_"As in, if I loved him in a different way, which fortunately, I don't."_

_"Another way?"_

_"You can just look at animals to find your answer, now let me wake up, you foolish Sceptre."_

_"Loki, okay, Loki! See you tomorrow night!!"_

_************_

** _Thor was there, in this dream - no, not dream, memory? Or dream? Or memory?_ **

** _But naked. And Loki was naked, too._ **

** _They were kissing, but--_ **

** _No, no, no, this never happened---_ **

** _"Get out!!!"_ **

********

Loki woke up and tossed the Sceptre aside, hard, trying to break it.

Of course, there wasn't even a scratch on it from it. Meanwhile, Loki was panting.

And more unsettled than ever.

Damn that ignorant Gem.

**********

**_This time, the other person did not look like Thor. No, the other person looked like Mother._ **

**_"You're not really her son," he heard Mind Stone's voice. "But I feel that you want to be important to... so, wouldn't that be the way to..."_ **

**_"Get out!!!"_ **

**_"But I don't understand. You could just make yourself look like Odin. That way, it would be fine. Would it not? Please, explain."_ **

**_"Get out!!!!!!!!!!! And don't tell Thanos that I still consider Frigga to be my mother!!"_ **

**_"Huh? I should tell Thanos?"_ **

**_"No!!"_ **

**_"Okay, Loki! I won't tell Thanos unless Thanos asks! Because I'm 'nice', right. Right?"_ **

**_"Yes, yes, you're very nice, now GET OUT!!"_ **

********

Loki felt sick after waking up. He tried to vomit, but he didn't really eat anything that day, so, there wasn't really anything to vomit.

Damn that ignorant Gem.

*****

A few hours, a dream... something reminded Loki of that dream. What's worse, for a moment he got confused and some part of himself believed the dream to have been real. To have been a memory. Something that really had happened.

Loki snarled.

"I'd rather die than touch Mother like that!!"

And the feeling of the dream having been real was gone, just like that.

Well, naturally.

Dreams were dreams - even those gem fuelled.

And reality was reality.

In THIS case, Loki would rather die than confuse them.

Whew.

What an irritating gem.


	3. A Favour to Ask

Loki was... dreaming?

And he saw the Gem. But this time, the Sceptre in dream - no, daydream, as he was talking to Stark right now, so he knew he wasn't asleep, damn the gem for not letting him fully concentrate---

This time, the Sceptre wasn't looking like Thor, or Mother, or Father, or Fandral, or Heimdall, or Laufey.

No, this time the Sceptre - no, the Mind Stone - looked like itself.

_Himself._

Why 'he', without even a body?

_Because I say so. I made a 'decision'._

 

Loki sighed. So, now, the Mind Stone was learning about decisions??

_Speaking of. Loki, on Bifrost, why did you decide to kill yourself?_

What?! No, he didn't, it was Thor who pushed him off the Bridge-- it was Thor who decided to murder Loki--

_Eh?_

The Mind Stone sounded confused.

_Eh? Why would you say that? That's just a story I told you because Ebony Maw said it would be interesting. Hey, hey, was it interesting._

Loki groaned, and with effort, pulled himself out of the daydream, smirking at Stark when he did so.

It was good to talk to people who weren't Singularities.

But... was it true? About the Bifrost... suicide...?? 

No, it couldn't be. It was Thor. It's always been Thor. With every suffering, it's always been Thor.

Certainly.

_You want to keep that story?? Okay!_

_***_

__The Mind Stone was excited and decided that apparently, giving 'stories' or 'memories' like this is 'a good thing'. Just like Thanos and Ebony Maw had said!


	4. For a Word

_Hey, Loki? Loki? Loki?_

**_Not now,_  **Loki replied to the Sceptre's bothersome childish attempt at getting his attention, groaning.  _ **Right now, make these foolish Midgardians kneel, Sceptre.**_

_Okay, I will do that, and I will also NOT tell Thanos that you'd never have, uhm? Wanting? To kill your, what was the word, 'brother',for longer than a few seconds. In ' exchange'..._

**_In exchange?_ **

**_*****_ **

In exchange the Sceptre only asked that Loki not tell Thanos that 'brother' Time is on Midgard.

Loki hesitantly agreed to that deal, though he thought he might live to regret it.

****

**However... Sceptre, where is your 'brother'? And why brother and not sister, anyway?**

_???? What is 'a Sister'? Loki, I learnt word 'Brother' from you. So. In Tesseract and Agamotto are my 'Brothers'. What is a 'Sister'? Is it a subtype of 'brother'?_

Giving up on making a bodyless gem understand nuances, Loki, while giving a speech on how mortals will always kneel, in his thoughts replied,

**_More or less, yes, indeed, dear Sceptre._ **

****_But Sceptre is not my name? Am I calling you 'Asgard'? No! So. Sceptre is NOT my name, Loki. Loki. Loki. See, I call you by name. So why would you call me Sceptre? I, am not you. And not that Sceptre._

**_No, just irritating Infinity Stone._ **

_Infinity? Sounds good. My name is Infinity!_

Loki sighed and momentarily gave up on trying logic.

 


	5. Interlude: And it's Ironic, Too (Cause what We Tend to Do)

~~Strange.~~

~~What was SHIELD waiting for?~~ Honestly, weird. What was the S.H.I.E.L.D. waiting for? How foolish could they be? Why weren't they torturing Loki right now?

How strange. Hm, perhaps they had no idea how to torture a god - how to torture an Asgardian - and were perhaps asking Thor for ideas. Yes, that had to be so.

 _How would brother torture you and me?,_ Mind Stone ask unhelpfully.

**He's not your brother, he's mine!**

_Oh. Right. 'Your Brother'. My apologies. But, but, I do have a... 'an ask'?_

**_A question._ **

_A 'question', yes, Loki, yes, yes, yes, i was looking for 'a word', yes yes yes! Forgive me.  
_

**Then ask your stupid question, I can allow--  
**

_Ooooh, I have a 'permit'!! I finally have 'a permit'!!, Loki, yes, yes, yes, yes, oh, thank you, I'd hate to be 'rude', 'your Mother' wouldn't like that, so, I decided, to just like you, be 'not rude', so, now I have 'a permit', Loki, Loki, yes, yes, yes, oh, 'thank' 'you', yes!_

**Permissio--, Loki wanted to correct, but---  
**

**____________**

**"No!!!!!!"**

**"No--"**

**______________**

Loki woke up sweating, sobbing suddenly.

_So my ask is that you tell me why 'they' wouldn't like 'you'  to be 'dead', when 'you' would like 'you' to be 'dead'? They restrict your 'choices'!! Is that 'bad'??? Is that why you 'hate' them? And why does your 'hate' look exactly as your 'love', only smells slightly different, but almost 'same', Loki? Loki? Loki? Loki?  
_

_"That never happened", Loki muttered suddenly aloud, viciously. "This never happened. I won't fall for your illusion, Mind Stone. I. Will. Not. Fall."_

_**O...okay???? 'Real memory' is now 'an illusion'? How so?** _

Loki didn't dignify Mind Stone's apparent, in his opinion, poor attempt at a weak lie, with a comment.

Enough was enough. He would no longer listen to the foolish Gem.

No more.

(He didn't try to kill himself. Thor tried to kill him. Because he tried killing Thor. That, that, that almost made sense and was... comfortable enough. For now.

For now.

For now

 

 

For now.)

**Author's Note:**

> A/N 1 : Idek about Norse, but in central Europe, fairytales about foundlings - false children, feys left by fairyfolk who took real children with them - used to be very common. Mothers would be afraid of foundlings (and I checked how to say a word 'foundling' in old Norse for this ficlet, and it's 'futin' or variations thereof, from what I've found in dictionaries. :D ).  
> Anyway. Mothers would be afraid and disgusted. Fathers and brothers would kill foundlings.
> 
> Fairytale foundlings couldn't be recognised by appearance due to illusion, but there were signs. For example, if a baby never cried, it might be a foundling.
> 
>  
> 
> A/N 2: In my headcanon, one of the reasons Loki is smiling while entertaining people at Grandmaster's party in Thor 3 with a tale of Loki's suicide from Thor 1, is because now Loki remembers the truth and it's sort of like? well, in my headcanon Loki is thinking:
> 
> "Whew, my older brother didn't kill me, I only always killed myself. Thor even wanted me to live , that fool! What a relief. The only one who hates me is myself. Whew."


End file.
